Foot Washing

This past Monday, our office closed to spend the day praying for InterVarsity campus ministries starting in the fall as well as our different departments. We spent the morning reflecting on John 13 and it was particularly a rich time for me.

One of the thoughts that I spent much of my time pondering over was what made Jesus' act of service (washing his disciple's feet) so different from other acts of service? And why do I tend to get all uncomfortable when it comes to the idea of someone washing my feet?

For the most part, I do enjoy it when people serve me. I'll be honest about that. I love it when Matt decides to take out the garbage, cook me dinner, or comes over unexpected to give me a back massage. I'll take that kind of service any day!!! I won't lie about that. :) So then why is it that I get all uncomfortable when someone wants to "wash" my feet? Even on our wedding day when Matt washed my feet there was a hint of uncomfortableness creeping around in the back of my mind.

I think the biggest difference that I can point to right now is in regards to entitlement. I think in many ways I feel entitled to be served by various people and deep down I kind of expect it. I can think of all the things I've done to deserve Matt cooking me dinner or serving me as my husband. I can point to all the great things I've done at work that would entitle me to a good word from my boss or some kind of bonus...etc.

I feel entitled to be served.

However, I'm realizing more and more that I do become uncomfortable when I know that I am not entitled to the service that God or others might be offering me. When in my dirtiness and humanness, someone decides to offer me grace, forgiveness, or a service that I know deep down I am not entitled to, it's uncomfortable and I want to turn away in shame. When I think back to when Matt washed my feet, I can honestly say a part of my was uncomfortable because I know full well the wretched creature that I am and I knew I am in no way entitled to the love, commitment and sacrifice Matt was willingly choosing into that day.

I left that study wondering how I view Jesus offer to serve me. Have I come to feel entitled to Jesus offering to daily wash my feet? Or do I still recognize the deep significance and awkwardness that surrounds my God choosing to "love me to the end"?